Warning: This Blog Will CRACK You Up!!...Wait for it...

As I begin to type, I'm not sure exactly where this entry will take us. I try to write about things that won't cause you to nod off during the second half. I make a strong effort to encourage you to at least crack a smile as you read, and I try to make you....or probably more importantly myself...ponder what some of the wacky events of my life could possibly mean. This entry, I'm going to warn you now, may cause you to learn a bit more about me than you care to...Read on if you dare!

Having said that...Off we go!

Haven't we all been told at least once to not judge a book by its cover? Today's blog takes this bit of advice to an entirely different level. I am, admittedly, a bit of a Plain Jane...I don't buy my skivvies from Vicky's Secret. I buy the kind that come in a bag of six and usually has a FREE BONUS PAIR to sweeten the deal. I also flat out refuse to wear any undies that itch or are built to be stuck in places that I spend time trying to avoid having clothing stuck in in the first place. (Tell me you just cracked a smile...HAHAHA....get it...CRACKed?!?!) OK...back to my story...

Anyway, I'm the girl Gretchen Wilson sang about minus the "drinking beer all night" part. Between you and me, one or two girlie drinks or a bag of orange circus peanuts will do me just fine!

Besides being a bit conservative, I'm the mom of four living in a single income household, and my needs often get put on the back burner. (Now's the time when you get to read more about my underwear...take notes so you know what to get me for Christmas this year : ))

It had been long enough. Some of my undies were in major need of retirement, so when I saw that end cap at Walmart full of shiny plastic bags containing Hanes Cotton Low Rise Briefs in a variety of Easter egg-like colors for a mere $5/package of six with a FREE BONUS PAIR, I knew that I was in business!! Not thinking of anyone else's needs but my own (shame on me), I tossed not one but two crinkly packages into my shopping cart and merrily rolled along to finish my shopping.

I was almost too excited to wait until I got dressed the following day to wear them for the first time, but I held off. Is it completely gross and inappropriate for me to tell you that I was totally okay with wearing my foxy new drawers straight out of the package? Well, I was. Think whatever you want of me...I'm okay with that.

When I got the package out the next morning and tore it open, I was horrified to find that my SIZE 6 HANES COTTON LOW RISE BRIEFS (*bonus points to me for the ingenious insertion of a subliminal message*) were my grandma's size 12 HANES Classic Cotton Briefs. WHAT?!?! My pretty new undies were GRANNY PANTIES.....UGH...All fourteen of them. I checked the packaging once, twice, maybe ten times to make sure that I wasn't cracking up (yep, again with the crack jokes). The package said exactly what I wanted to find inside, but good old Inspector 12, who apparently has a pretty sick sense of humor, had other ideas. HAHA, very, very funny, Inspector 12!!!

Did I wear them and refuse to let my fantastic deal go to waste? No way, José. I may be conservative and wear semi-boring, comfy cotton underwear that are more about fabric and less about string, but I'm not 80!!!! Those suckers went right back in the package and into a pile on the floor to remind me that I would, one day, find this experience funny enough to share with someone else. Lucky you!!!!

Now for the moral of this story... Aw, heck...I don't have a moral. I just like this story!!!! I hope you did, too!!!